Managing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) when you have ADHD

Dr. Gemma Goodliffe
Feb 1
4 min read

Have you ever had that feeling where a casual comment hits like a punch? Or a delayed response to a text message spirals into “they hate me”? Or neutral feedback is heard as harsh criticism and feels emotionally unbearable?

If you have ADHD, this may feel very familiar.

That intense emotional reaction to perceived rejection is often described as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s not about being “too sensitive” or overreacting – it’s about how the ADHD brain processes emotion, threat and connection.

Through my work coaching individuals with ADHD, I regularly see the impact RSD can have on confidence, relationships and decision-making. While I wish I could offer a neat five-step formula to “get rid of” RSD, that isn’t realistic. What is possible, however, is learning ways to understand it, work with it, and reduce the power it holds over your life.

RSD isn’t an official diagnosis, but it is a very real experience for many people with ADHD. And learning to recognise and manage it can make a significant difference to your emotional wellbeing, self-confidence and relationships.

What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

RSD refers to an extreme emotional sensitivity to real or perceived rejection, criticism or failure. The key word here is extreme. This isn’t simply feeling a bit hurt – it can feel overwhelming, shame-filled or devastating in ways that seem disproportionate to the situation.

RSD can trigger rapid emotional spirals, harsh self-criticism and a strong urge to either withdraw or over-compensate. Over time, this can affect how you see yourself and how safe you feel in relationships.

Understanding what RSD is – and that there is a neurological basis for it – is often the first step in reducing its impact.

Common experiences of RSD

People with ADHD and RSD may notice patterns such as:

Intense shame after small mistakes
Avoiding opportunities because rejection feels unbearable
People-pleasing to prevent disapproval
Rapid mood shifts triggered by minor interactions
Emotional spirals in response to tone, silence or facial expressions
A negative self-image shaped by repeated feelings of worthlessness or failure

For many people with ADHD, RSD is closely linked to emotional dysregulation – the brain’s difficulty in managing emotional intensity.

Why RSD hits ADHD brains so hard

ADHD brains tend to:

Feel emotions more intensely
Struggle to regulate emotional responses
Carry years of accumulated criticism (from school, authority figures or peers)
Notice patterns of rejection quickly – even when they’re not real

Over time, this can train the nervous system to stay on high alert for rejection. RSD is less about being “overly sensitive” and more about a system that has learned to protect itself.

How to manage RSD (without trying to “just get over it”)

1. Name it in the moment

One of the most powerful tools is simply recognising what’s happening.

Try saying (even silently):“This feels intense because of RSD, not because I’m actually being rejected.”

Naming RSD creates a pause. It doesn’t remove the feeling, but it can stop it from completely taking over.

2. Separate feelings from facts

RSD makes emotions feel like facts. They’re not.

When you feel rejected, ask yourself:

What actually happened?
What am I assuming it means?
Is there another possible explanation?

For example:

Feeling: “They didn’t reply because they’re angry with me.”
Fact: “They haven’t replied yet.”
Other possibilities: They’re busy, distracted, asleep or haven’t seen the message.

You don’t have to fully believe the alternative explanation – you just need to allow it to exist.

3. Create a “cool-down” rule

RSD often urges immediate reactions – apologising excessively, withdrawing, or lashing out.

A helpful boundary might be:“I don’t respond to emotionally triggering situations for 24 hours.”

During that time you might:

Journal the spiral
Move your body
Use grounding techniques
Talk it through with someone safe
Sleep on it

Distance reduces intensity. ADHD emotions burn hot, but they also fade more quickly than they feel like they will.

4. Practice self-validation

Many people with RSD rely on others to regulate their emotions. Learning to validate yourself can be transformative.

Try phrases such as:

“It makes sense that this hurts.”
“I’m allowed to feel this without punishing myself.”
“This feeling will pass.”

Validation doesn’t mean you’re “right”. It means you’re human.

5. Reduce shame around emotional reactions

Shame makes RSD significantly worse.

Instead of:“Why am I like this?”

Try:“My brain processes emotions intensely, and I’m learning how to work with it.”

You are not weak, dramatic or broken. You’re navigating a nervous system that feels deeply.

6. Set boundaries around feedback

If criticism is especially triggering, it’s okay to ask for feedback in ways that work better for you.

For example, you might:

Request written feedback instead of verbal
Ask for strengths to be shared alongside areas for development
Ask for time to process before responding

Advocating for yourself isn’t avoidance – it’s self-management.

7. Seek support that understands ADHD

Building emotional resilience takes time, practice and compassion. Celebrate your small wins, and be gentle with yourself when things don’t go to plan.

RSD may be part of your experience, but it does not define who you are or limit what you’re capable of.

How coaching can help

In my coaching work, I support adults with ADHD to better understand their emotional patterns, including experiences of RSD. Coaching offers a space to slow things down, make sense of emotional reactions, and develop practical strategies that work with your brain rather than against it.

Together, we focus on building self-trust, emotional regulation, and compassionate boundaries – so that moments of perceived rejection no longer dictate your choices, confidence or sense of self-worth.

If RSD is something that feels familiar, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support that truly understands ADHD can make a meaningful difference.